I suppose I should probably start out with the disclaimer that I’m currently in a pretty angry mood after having been played by my eight-week-old puppy who refused to pee outside in the rain and then peed in the kitchen while we were eating dinner. She went out of sight of us, so I think she knows it’s wrong. We took her out over and over in the rain, and she refused to pee--she made us think she didn’t have to go. We were totally played, and I don’t like it. I was played, I tell you.
That said, I’m annoyed with the obsession the general population (OK, maybe this isn’t equally distributed among the population, but I hate to stereotype by pointing fingers) has with being “played.” Exhibit A: I opened Facebook this evening (and whether or not I should just “unfriend” all of the mindless followers/reposters/conspiracy theory minions is another debate) to see that a “friend” (not one I’m close to, but someone I believe means to be a good person) had posted a meme that said the following (and I’ll preserve the punctuation for full effect): “Imagine watching a televised funeral with hundreds in attendance after being told you cant go to your own family’s funerals or even your kids graduation. Imagine watching it and still not realizing youre being played” [Yeah, no period at the end in addition to most of the missing parentheses. This meme was not written by someone with finesse or education or maybe only an elementary grasp on English, Russian being the primary language….]
I immediately wanted to write back the following: “Who exactly do you think is playing you? WTF?” Seriously. Who is supposedly “playing” us in this scenario? The virus? The governor? The CDC? The WHO? Again, WTF? Why would anyone have ANY f-ing interest in whether you went to your kids’ (please note that I can punctuate!!!) graduations?” (Side note: this person’s children are both out of college. So no, s/he didn’t miss her kids’ graduation. Also, I don’t think s/he personally missed any funerals either.) Basically, this person found this meme on social media and thought, “Yeah!! They’re playing me! I didn’t get to go to the funerals and graduations that weren’t even happening! I’ve been played!!” (Insert scream of rage here. Played!! Played, I tell you!! Oh my God!! Played!!)
Then I thought, would it be nicer to write the following? “Dear friend, please earnestly consider the possibility that the only person ‘playing’ you at this moment is the person/bot who created this meme you copied. It is clearly intended to sow discord and confusion. Please consider the evidence that you have probably been denying that much of the vague incendiary poorly spelled/punctuated memes on social media are created by one of the following: (a) people trying to create division, or (b) bots trying to create division. And you are helping him/her/it. Please stop trying to play me.”
The bottom line is that whoever figured out that “being played” is one of the worst things that can happen to an American these days is totally playing this person and many people. It made me wonder: when did “being played” become something we have to guard against so vigilantly. When did “being played” become the primary crime being committed against the common wo/man? After 114,145 Americans have died of a virus, why would protecting people from it be seen as “playing” them? Is the implication in the above meme that if you’re overly kind and cautious about caring for others that you’re a chump? We are really worried that we might accidentally care about each other too much? Seriously, America. You ARE being “played,” and the game is that no one in government actually cares about your personal kids’ graduation ceremonies (and very especially no one is trying to manipulate you to not go to your kids’ ceremonies that happened several years ago. I’m dead serious about this. NO. ONE. CARES about the ceremonies you didn’t even miss!) The game, then, is the “people”/bots that know they can rile you up by suggesting that you (you! Of all people! They are after YOU for sure because...well, you!) are being played ALL. THE. TIME. Virus? Played. Killed 114,145 Americans to mess with you. Police brutality? Played. Killed black people for hundreds of years to mess with you! Ha ha! Gotcha.
Seriously, gullible people, what’s next? Tornado sirens? You. are. being. played sucker!! I bet you actually looked out the window and believed that those high winds bending the trees in half were real. Played. I bet you went into your basement and sat there like a fool. Played, played, played. And when the next town over was flattened? Played. “They” did that to mess with you. And you bought it. I bet you even tried to help the “victims” whose homes were destroyed. Played. At least until a meme on the internet helped you wise up to what was going on.
Thank the powers that be that we have a President who will tell you that the skinny 75-year-old who was pushed over by police and bled profusely from a head wound while police walked over him on their way to...the next block...had been participating in social activism and peaceful protests for half a century so that YOU would fall for it right now. It was all about you. You being played.
Be careful out there, folks. You’re going to hear a lot of people wanting you to feel sorry for victims of all kinds. You’re going to hear “recommendations” for how to keep everyone safe from things like pandemics and traffic accidents (you are so being played by those “red lights” and “stop signs”.) Do yourself a favor: don’t buy it. Stop washing your hands. Stop driving on your side of the road. You are being played, and there is literally nothing worse than accidentally being too kind to others. That, my friend, is called “being played,” and it’s happening to you and at you. These things are about making you look gullible, and it’d be better to, you know, kill someone than look weak. Kill your neighbors if you have to. Refuse to vote. Paint the town with lead paint. Be strong. Don’t get played.
OK. I’ll end the rant there. I need to go pet my puppy. Because she probably just doesn’t know what the hell is going on with the high winds and the rain and she just wanted to go in the nice calm house and pee in peace. The only dogs actually playing me are the ones that convinced that my teeny puppy is part of the deep state that wants me to believe in urine.
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