Sunday, February 14, 2016

Lord help me: I'm raising a shyster

The other day Husband I were reminiscing about those days when Son was a toddler and preschooler and we were pretty sure he was already secretly enrolled in law school. We were reminiscing because Son's ridiculous argument about what was and was not considered a sidewalk was particularly weak and empty of convincing evidence. His eight year old sister was able to pretty well undermine his argument with a few well-considered questions. "Well, I guess we don't need to worry about him being a lawyer," we declared.

This morning I heard crying and bickering upstairs and after delaying some time and finally accepting that intervention was possibly required, I went upstairs to investigate. The offspring were arguing over who owned the "materials." Upon further interrogation of both parties, I discovered the "materials" to be recycled items owned by their joint "Recycling Company." 

"Aren't you both members of the Recycling Company?" I asked. They both said yes. "So both of you should be able to use the materials owned by the Recycling Company." 

"Exactly," said Son.

"Wait a minute," I responded. "You're the one who was not sharing."

Son then explained to me that the mission of the Recycling Company is not just to make things out of recycled materials but also to give things to people who need them. Sounds lovely. But Son had formed a second company--a company his sister was not invited to be part of--and that company needed recycled materials. So as a member of the Recycling Company, Son had given the recycled materials to the second company and they were therefore no longer available to Daughter. 

Lord help me.