Playing as a Team

This fall I have had the privilege of being assistant coach for a terrific soccer team of fourth graders. I don't believe I can take credit for what makes them good. For one thing, I'm not the main coach. I have thought of a drill here or there, and I have conversations with the kids on the sidelines during the game. I organized a team outing to see the high school soccer team, but only a portion of the team even showed up. No, I think what makes the team so much better than it was last spring is that it plays like a team. Last spring there were a few kids who played hard, a few stand-outs, and everyone else sort of wandered around the field and only occassionally took a swipe at the ball. When you are a motivated and talented player assigned to be left forward and you know that the kid playing center defense couldn't care less about winning the ball from the opponent, you are going to linger back in the center defense position when the other team has the ball, just in case. Then when the ball is where the left forward should be, no one is there. Furthermore, the kid assigned to center defense learns that he doesn't really have to try for the ball because someone else will come do it anyway. It makes for a lot of losses, a lot of discouraged players, and a painful watching experience.

This year, every kid on the team is really trying. Of course they still have varying abilities since all you have to do to be on the team is sign up, but the fact that everyone is putting forth their best effort in the games liberates everyone to play their positions. This year we have a lot of motivated players. Even better though, the players all know that their teammates are not going to back down either, so they don't feel the need (although they still do occasionally get carried away) to be way out of position all of the time. We actually won a few games because when the ball went up towards the offense, the entire offense was there to take it up to the goal! Amazing! I think the kids have learned that everyone wins when anyone on the team scores a goal, and everyone is willing to play their own part regardless of what that part is.

I was thinking about this teamwork idea as I was driving home from work, later than usual, yesterday afternoon. A student had needed to discuss something with me, and I had said of course I could talk. So I was later than usual on Halloween. I had also missed the afternoon Halloween parade at the elementary school because of my afternoon class. I was exhausted because I have had a really hard week trying to finish up grading research papers and plan for a very difficult and nebulous unit that started yesterday, just after I collected the next round of papers. And on top of that, we had a math meeting on Tuesday night, and I had a church council meeting on Wednesday night. The nerve in my right leg is bothering me again, so I'm in a bit of pain too. I've not been getting much sleep or much exercise. And, worst, I've not been a very involved mom. And there it was, Halloween. I had missed pumpkin carving the night before. I had missed one of the two parades that day. My mom had picked up Gretchen from the school bus and gone to the parade at the school. Then she had taken Gretchen to a party at the nursing home. Doug had picked up Adam from school. Both of my kids had fantastic costumes--breathtaking, really--but my mom made one of them and Doug made the other. And I was driving home after 4pm on Halloween! For a moment I felt panic. What if my mom didn't get Gretchen off the bus? What if Doug didn't pick up Adam? But I realized that was silly. My mom gets Gretchen off the bus twice a week. And Doug poured so many hours into that costume that he was absolutely not going to forget that it was Halloween and that I had sent a note to school about Adam not riding the bus. He is a terrific dad. So I shifted from panic to sadness. My mom and husband are better parents than I am, or so it felt.

But then I considered why I was sad. Did my kids miss out on anything? Not really. They still carved the pumpkins. Their costumes were much better than if I had made either one. Gretchen had me and my dad at her costume parade, and Adam had my mom and Gretchen at his. They have been fed and gotten their homework done and taken showers. They are safe and comfortable and seem fairly happy and well-adjusted.

My problem, then, was not on behalf of my children but was born out of my inclination to play all of the positions on the field at once. On Halloween, there are goals to be scored on the homefront, and I didn't run up and score them. What I need to remember, though, is that I am playing on a team of excellent players, all of whom also care about the game. My mom and my husband made unbelievably fantastic costumes. They flawlessly executed the logistics of getting everyone safely to and from where they needed to be. So yesterday afternoon, my assigned position was at the college where I teach, and I did that. And everyone was OK. Happy even. A win, really.

I could learn from my team of nine-year-olds. It doesn't matter who scores the goal. As long as someone is scoring and someone is playing defense, the whole team wins.